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J O T D
A blonde tried to sell her old car. She was having a lot of problems selling it, because the car had almost 230,000 miles on it.
One day, she told her problem to a brunette she worked with at a salon.
The brunette told her, "There is a possibility to make the car easier to sell, but it's not legal."
"That doesn't matter," replied the blonde, "if I only can sell the car."
"Okay," said the brunette. "Here is the address of a friend of mine. He owns a car repair shop. Tell him I sent you and he will 'fix it'. Then it should not be a problem to sell your car anymore."
The following weekend, the blonde made the trip to the mechanic.
About one month after that, the brunette asked the blonde, "Did you sell your car?"
"No," replied the blonde, "Why should I? It only has 50,000 miles on it!"
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Here's one for the programmers and security folks... :D
http://imgs.xkcd.com/comics/exploits_of_a_mom.png
:clap:
It's fun tweaking databases when the programmers don't fix their input checking routines.
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On their honeymoon, the blonde bride slipped into a sexy nightie and with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Catholic husband had settled down on the couch. When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, "Can't, it's Lent".
In tears, she remarked, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! Who did you lend it to, and for how long??!"
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Those Lovely Farmer's Daughters
A farmer had 3 beautiful daughters who were getting ready to go out on dates. The first beau came to the door and said, ''I'm Eddie, I'm here to pick up Betty. We're going for spaghetti, is she ready?''
"No," the farmer said.
The second beau came to the door and said, ''I'm Joe, I'm here to pick up Flo to take her to the show. Is she ready to go?''
"No."
The third beau came to the door and said to the farmer. ''Hello, my name is Chuck.''
The farmer shot him.
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A man was in a terrible accident, and his 'manhood'
was mangled and torn from his body. His doctor assured
him that modern medicine could give him back his
manhood, but that his insurance wouldn't cover the
surgery since it was considered cosmetic. The doctor
said the cost would be $3,500 for 'small, $6,500 for
'medium, $14,000 for 'large.'
The man was sure he would want a medium or large, but
the doctor urged him to talk it over with his wife
before he made any decision. The man called his wife
on the phone and explained their options. The doctor
came back into the room, and found the man looking
dejected.
'Well, what have the two of you decided?' asked the
doctor.
The man answered, 'She'd rather remodel the kitchen.'
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