JOTD today

Apparently an oldie, but I never heard it before:

Why I'm divorced:

Last week was my birthday and I didn't feel
very well waking up on that morning..

I went downstairs for breakfast hoping my
wife would be pleasant and say, 'Happy
Birthday!', and possibly have a small present for me.

As it turned out, she barely said good morning,
let alone ' Happy Birthday.'

I thought....
Well, that's marriage for you, but the kids.... They
will remember.

My kids came bounding down stairs to breakfast
and didn't say a word.. So when I left for the office,
I felt pretty low and somewhat despondent.

As I walked into my office, my secretary Jane
said, 'Good Morning Boss, and by the way Happy
Birthday ! ' It felt a little better that at least someone
had remembered.

I worked until one o'clock , when Jane knocked on
my door and said, 'You know, It's such a beautiful
day outside, and it is your Birthday, what do you say
we go out to lunch, just you and me..' I said, 'Thanks,
Jane, that's the greatest thing I've heard all day. Let's go !'

We went to lunch. But we didn't go where we normally
would go. She chose instead at a quiet bistro with a
private table. We had two martinis each and I enjoyed
the meal tremendously.

On the way back to the office, Jane said, 'You know, It's
such a beautiful day... We don't need to go straight back
to the office, Do We ?'

I responded, 'I guess not. What do you have in mind ?' She
said, 'Let's drop by my apartment, it's just around the corner..'
After arriving at her apartment, Jane turned to me and said,
' Boss, if you don't mind, I'm going to step into the bedroom
for just a moment. I'll be right back.' 'Ok.' I nervously replied.

She went into the bedroom and, after a couple of minutes,
she came out carrying a huge birthday cake ... Followed by
my wife, my kids, and dozens of my friends and co-workers,
all singing 'Happy Birthday'.

And I just sat there....
On the couch....
Naked...