These rich insults are from an era before the English language
got boiled down to 4-letter words:
Exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:
She said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison."
He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."
A member of Parliament to Disraeli:
"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."
"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."
"He had delusions of adequacy."- Walter Kerr
"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."
- Winston Churchill
"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries
with great pleasure."- Clarence Darrow
"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."
- William Faulkner, about Ernest Hemingway
"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;
I'll waste no time reading it."- Moses Hadas
"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter
saying I approved of it."- Mark Twain
"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."
- Oscar Wilde
"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend...if you have one."
-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill
"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second...if there is one."-Winston Churchill, in reply
"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."
- Stephen Bishop
"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."
- John Bright
"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."
-Irvin S. Cobb
"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."
-Samuel Johnson
"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."- Paul Keating
"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."
- Forrest Tucker
"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope
without any address on it?"- Mark Twain
"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."
-Mae West
"Some cause happiness wherever they go;
others, whenever they go."- Oscar Wilde
"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts--for support rather than illumination."
-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)
"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."- Billy Wilder
"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."
- Groucho Marx
