man jokes

The human body has 7 trillion nerves. My wife manages to get on every one of them.
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I fitted strobe lights in the bedroom. They're brilliant. It makes my wife look like she’s actually moving during sex.
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I went to the doctor’s office the other day and found out that my new doctor is a young female and drop dead gorgeous.
I was embarrassed, but she said, “Don't worry, I am a professional - I've seen it all before. Just tell me what’s wrong and I'll check it out.
I said, “My wife thinks that my penis tastes funny.�
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I was pretty excited when my new girlfriend sent me a text message claiming that she loves anal. Turns out she is dyslexic, she loves Alan, my best friend.
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A guy is watching a film with creepy organ music on the TV and suddenly yells, “Don't enter that church, you damn fool!!!�
His wife asks him, “What are you watching?�
The husband replies, “Our bloody wedding video�.
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Life is like a penis, soft and hanging freely. It’s women that make it hard.
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I said to my wife, “Get me a newspaper�
“Don't be silly,� she said “You can borrow my iPad�
That spider never knew what the hell hit it.
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I bought a new perfume for my wife called Chloroform but she says she doesn't like it. She says that it makes her sleepy and her ass sore.