Reply With QuoteInteresting way of calling a guy a bastard!
Jotd
A fellow was getting ready to tee off on the first hole when a second golfer approached and asked if he could join him.
The first golfer said that he usually played alone, but agreed to the two-some. They were even after the first two holes.
The second guy said, "We're about evenly matched, how about playing for five bucks a hole?"
The first fellow said that he wasn't much for betting, but agreed to the terms.
The second guy won the remaining sixteen holes with ease.
As they were walking off number eighteen, and while counting his $80.00, the second guy confessed that he was the pro at a neighboring course and liked to pick on suckers.
The first fellow revealed that he was the Parish Priest.
The pro got all flustered and apologetic offering to return the money.
The Priest said, "You won fair and square and I was foolish to bet with you. You keep your winnings."
The pro said, "Is there anything I can do to make it up to you?"
The Priest said, "Well, you could come to Mass on Sunday and make a donation. And, if you want to bring your mother and father along, I'll marry them."
Interesting way of calling a guy a bastard!
05 MX-5 Mazdaspeed #1024 Titanium Gray Mica
Good one
I'll have to remember that one.
09 Lexus RX350
.... no Miata
For the math and programming geeks:
Q: Why do programmers get Halloween and Christmas mixed up?
A: Because OCT 31 = DEC 25
Daily Driver: 2013 Club edition in Pearl White Mica
Lightness? What's that? I drive a PRHT!
boo
http://www.tonymarston.net/php-mysql/converter.phpOriginally Posted by channelmaniac
"That which does not kill us, just makes us madder"
Cletus Nietzsche (Friedrich's half-brother on his sister's side)
Booooo
ok, it is kind of funny.
In summary, the police arrested Patrick Lawrence, 22 year old white male, in a pumpkin patch 11:38 p.m. on Friday night.
On Monday, at the Gwinnett County (GA) courthouse, Lawrence was charged with lewd and lascivious behavior, public indecency, and public intoxication.
The suspect explained that as he was passing a pumpkin patch on his way home from a drinking session when he decided to stop, "You know how a pumpkin is soft and squishy inside, and there was no one around for miles or at least I thought there wasn't anyone around" he stated in a telephone interview.
Lawrence went on to say that he pulled over to the side of the road, picked out a pumpkin that he felt was appropriate to his purpose, cut a hole in it, and proceeded to satisfy his alleged 'need.' "Guess I was really into it, you know?" he commented with evident embarrassment.
In the process of doing the deed, Lawrence failed to notice an approaching police car and was unaware of his audience until officer Brenda Taylor approached him.
"It was an unusual situation, that's for sure," said officer Taylor.
"I walked up to Lawrence and he's just banging away at this pumpkin."
Officer Taylor went on to describe what happened when she approached Lawrence.
"I said, "Excuse me sir, but do you realize that you're having sex with a pumpkin?"
He froze and was clearly very surprised that I was there, and then he looked me straight in the face and said...
"A pumpkin? Shit...is it midnight already?"
Maybe 4 wheels aren't so bad after all... wickett.org
It only goes to show when people can no longer discriminate on the grounds of race, religion, or sexual orientation, they can improvise and still find someone to hate. - Dave Moulton
...but that pumpkin joke was pretty funny...
'94 Black & Black & Tan
'99 head swap, JR header, TDR intake & header blanket, MegaSquirt, RB hollow bar, Tein Flex, 15x8 6ULs, HD M2 Sport, FM cat, Borla cat-back, black '95M interior, MOMO Zebrano, IL Motorsport console...
Dyno Days
8/16/08 (bone stock): 103.1 hp/99.0 lb-ft - Dynojet
8/23/08 (Borla cat-back): 108.2 hp/104.1 lb-ft - Dynojet
8/13/11 (more stuff...): 126 hp/116 lb-ft - Mustang dyno
Roger Moore: the Danny White of James Bonds
I'll raise you one...
...but that pumpkin joke was pretty funny...
This is the original picture posted in a lousy thread on Supraforums...
So I decided to one-up him...
Kinda sad when something like this is your crowning achievement
09 Lexus RX350
.... no Miata
"That which does not kill us, just makes us madder"
Cletus Nietzsche (Friedrich's half-brother on his sister's side)
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