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Thread: No joke - hard facts

  1. #1
    MME Goodwill Ambassador onething's Avatar
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    Default No joke - hard facts

    Your President said change was coming. Part of the change is new definitions for common terms:

    New Stock Market Terms



    CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer



    CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer



    BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius



    BEAR MARKET - a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.



    VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.



    P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.



    BROKER - What my financial planner has made me.



    STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.



    STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.



    STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.



    MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.



    CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.



    YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.



    WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.



    INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.



    PROFIT - an archaic word no longer in use.





    # # # # #
    Bidden or not bidden, God is present
    "Up until the moment of impact, I was still having fun." Bob J. Hall San Francisco Region



  2. #2

    Talking

    ... WAIT!!!
    05 MX-5 Mazdaspeed #1024 Titanium Gray Mica

  3. #3

    Default

    Yawn...

    Someone is posting the spam from their email onto the forum.
    Daily Driver: 2013 Club edition in Pearl White Mica

    Lightness? What's that? I drive a PRHT!

  4. #4
    MME Goodwill Ambassador onething's Avatar
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    Default

    "and to the engineer, stating the obvious is redundant and therefore wasteful."
    Bidden or not bidden, God is present
    "Up until the moment of impact, I was still having fun." Bob J. Hall San Francisco Region



  5. #5

    Default

    I'd post my SPAM but I don't think anybody would be interested in a Free Credit Report from Barnyard Sluts that drink Discount Gevalia Coffee.
    '94 Black & Black & Tan
    '99 head swap, JR header, TDR intake & header blanket, MegaSquirt, RB hollow bar, Tein Flex, 15x8 6ULs, HD M2 Sport, FM cat, Borla cat-back, black '95M interior, MOMO Zebrano, IL Motorsport console...

    Dyno Days
    8/16/08 (bone stock): 103.1 hp/99.0 lb-ft - Dynojet
    8/23/08 (Borla cat-back): 108.2 hp/104.1 lb-ft - Dynojet
    8/13/11 (more stuff...): 126 hp/116 lb-ft - Mustang dyno

    Roger Moore: the Danny White of James Bonds

  6. #6

    Default

    Dear Sir/Ma,

    Would you like to work online from Home/Temporarily and get paid weekly? We are glad to offer you for a job position at our company, BEAUCHAMP INTERIORS We need someone to work for the company as a Representative/Bookkeeper in the USA. This is in view of our not having an office presently in the USA.

    I won't post the rest of it cause I don't want any of you guys stealing this out from under me!

  7. #7

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by cam76034 View Post
    Dear Sir/Ma,

    Would you like to work online from Home/Temporarily and get paid weekly? We are glad to offer you for a job position at our company, BEAUCHAMP INTERIORS We need someone to work for the company as a Representative/Bookkeeper in the USA. This is in view of our not having an office presently in the USA.

    I won't post the rest of it cause I don't want any of you guys stealing this out from under me!
    Sounds like the World Headquarters is somewhere in a dark corner of Nigeria...
    '94 Black & Black & Tan
    '99 head swap, JR header, TDR intake & header blanket, MegaSquirt, RB hollow bar, Tein Flex, 15x8 6ULs, HD M2 Sport, FM cat, Borla cat-back, black '95M interior, MOMO Zebrano, IL Motorsport console...

    Dyno Days
    8/16/08 (bone stock): 103.1 hp/99.0 lb-ft - Dynojet
    8/23/08 (Borla cat-back): 108.2 hp/104.1 lb-ft - Dynojet
    8/13/11 (more stuff...): 126 hp/116 lb-ft - Mustang dyno

    Roger Moore: the Danny White of James Bonds

  8. #8

    Default

    I would post mine but I was told that it was best not to tell my friends and family until my bank account can be verified.
    John O.
    94R

  9. #9
    Shallow and Pedantic Majik's Avatar
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    Good Ole Fort Worth
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    5,273

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by trickyrix View Post
    I'd post my SPAM but I don't think anybody would be interested in a Free Credit Report from Barnyard Sluts that drink Discount Gevalia Coffee.
    Thats a pretty specific fetish you have there Rick...

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