When insults had class

[onething]

These rich insults are from an era before the English language


got boiled down to 4-letter words:

Exchange between Churchill & Lady Astor:


She said, "If you were my husband, I'd give you poison."


He said, "If you were my wife, I'd drink it."

A member of Parliament to Disraeli:


"Sir, you will either die on the gallows or of some unspeakable disease."

"That depends, Sir," said Disraeli, "whether I embrace your policies or your mistress."

"He had delusions of adequacy."- Walter Kerr

"He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire."


- Winston Churchill

"I have never killed a man, but I have read many obituaries


with great pleasure."- Clarence Darrow

"He has never been known to use a word that might send a reader to the dictionary."


- William Faulkner, about Ernest Hemingway

"Thank you for sending me a copy of your book;


I'll waste no time reading it."- Moses Hadas

"I didn't attend the funeral, but I sent a nice letter


saying I approved of it."- Mark Twain

"He has no enemies, but is intensely disliked by his friends.."


- Oscar Wilde

"I am enclosing two tickets to the first night of my new play; bring a friend...if you have one."


-George Bernard Shaw to Winston Churchill


"Cannot possibly attend first night; will attend second...if there is one."-Winston Churchill, in reply

"I feel so miserable without you; it's almost like having you here."


- Stephen Bishop

"He is a self-made man and worships his creator."


- John Bright

"I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial."


-Irvin S. Cobb

"He is not only dull himself; he is the cause of dullness in others."


-Samuel Johnson

"He is simply a shiver looking for a spine to run up."- Paul Keating

"He loves nature in spite of what it did to him."


- Forrest Tucker

"Why do you sit there looking like an envelope


without any address on it?"- Mark Twain

"His mother should have thrown him away and kept the stork."


-Mae West

"Some cause happiness wherever they go;


others, whenever they go."- Oscar Wilde

"He uses statistics as a drunken man uses lamp posts--for support rather than illumination."


-Andrew Lang (1844-1912)

"He has Van Gogh's ear for music."- Billy Wilder

"I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it."


- Groucho Marx

[MadMonkey]

I wish I was quick enough to come up with something like that.