I like this one.
"don't blame me if I don't move over for you; I'm busy and fitting in is your job. I have the right of way, doofus!"
I had a guy in a Miata try to merge into the the side of my pickup on I35 last mo. After coming very close to hitting me he gives me the finger. Their was a lot of space in front and behind me but it was my fault he could not merge without looking.