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Thread: onething: Victim of a Conspiracy

  1. #1
    MME Goodwill Ambassador onething's Avatar
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    Default onething: Victim of a Conspiracy

    OK - OK - OK I was the victim of a conspiracy!

    Gravity and my own stupidity conspired against me and their henchman, the sidewalk at my own home, attacked me!

    Some of you have asked about the old avatar, so I'll spill my guts so that others may live. I am Mr. Safety at work and play, but neither OSHA or SCCA rule at my house!

    I needed to climb up on the roof. I didn't want to break the new shingles on my roof. So, as you can see in the first picture, I leaned my Grandfather's extension ladder up against the non-vertical facer board. Everything was good until I reached the top of the ladder and was about to step onto the roof.

    As you can see in the second and third pics, not only did I break my head, I ruined my Grandfather's ladder

    But not to worry! The Flea Beach is almost ready for regular maintenance and the brain damage is the excuse I've been seeking.
    Attached Images Attached Images
    Bidden or not bidden, God is present
    "Up until the moment of impact, I was still having fun." Bob J. Hall San Francisco Region



  2. #2
    MME Goodwill Ambassador onething's Avatar
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    DIY Home Improvement - Ladder Safety


    So that no one will think they have to tell me . . .


    Using an extension ladder

    To work safely more than 10 feet from the ground or on the roof, set up an extension ladder. Inspect the ladder: Do not use it if a shoe is worn or missing, a rung is loose, or a rung lock or the rope-and-pulley system is faulty.

    Place the unextended ladder on the ground, perpendicular to the wall where it will be positioned, with its fly section (the part that slides) on the bottom and its feet out from the wall 1/4 of the height to which it will be raised.

    With a helper bracing the bottom of the ladder with his or her feet, use both hands to raise the top of it above your head. Walk under the ladder toward the bottom of it, moving your hands along the side rails, until it is upright.

    Stabilizing the bottom of the ladder

    Stand on the first rung of the ladder to test its stability. If the ladder does not stand steady on firm, level ground, place a board under the feet. If necessary, dig up the soil with a spade to level it.

    To stabilize the bottom of the ladder, drive a wooden stake into the ground between it and the wall, and use a rope to tie each side rail to the stake, using a slipproof knot such as the bowline.

    Stabilizing the top of the ladder

    If you are working at the eave or plan to get off the ladder onto the roof, stabilize the top of the ladder. If the ladder rests against a gutter, first fit a 2-by-4 inside the gutter to keep it from crushing under the weight of the ladder. Then install an eye screw or drive a 3-inch nail into the fascia near each side rail, just above or below the gutter. Using 3/8-inch-diameter nylon rope, tie each side rail of the ladder to the eye screw or nail.
    Bidden or not bidden, God is present
    "Up until the moment of impact, I was still having fun." Bob J. Hall San Francisco Region



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    MME Goodwill Ambassador onething's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Treibenschnell
    It just came across the AP Wires that the sidewalk was arrested on battery charges.


    Beyond that, I'm glad to see you're up and fine!
    I am glad! I hope they give him to a chain gang that will turn him into gravel
    Bidden or not bidden, God is present
    "Up until the moment of impact, I was still having fun." Bob J. Hall San Francisco Region



  5. #5

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    Ouch! Mabye you should just never take off your auto-x helmet. :afro:
    "Racing makes heroin addiction look like a vague longing for something salty" - Peter Egan

  6. #6

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    Hal please don't tell me you thought this was a good idea?


    They should use this in OSHA training film
    I'm glad your ok though......
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  7. #7
    Obnoxious at any speed altiain's Avatar
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    I think we're going to have to take away your Mr. Safety hat.

    Glad to hear you're okay, onething - hope the healing process is quick.

    BTW, I hear they make stepladders out of this new, unbendable stuff called fiberglass now! You should check into it!
    Iain

    "We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw

  8. #8

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    Quote Originally Posted by altiain
    BTW, I hear they make stepladders out of this new, unbendable stuff called fiberglass now! You should check into it!
    Especially before he decides to use that ladder around electric wires!
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  9. #9
    MME Goodwill Ambassador onething's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by channelmaniac
    Especially before he decides to use that ladder around electric wires!
    OK - this is where the myth ends:

    I don't work around electric wires. I tell others how to do it safely!
    Bidden or not bidden, God is present
    "Up until the moment of impact, I was still having fun." Bob J. Hall San Francisco Region



  10. #10

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    Omg! THEY ARE ALL GONNA DIE!!!!!!

    Edit: Dang board won't let you type that in all caps!

    Note to Kestrel: I used the caps lock key...
    Last edited by channelmaniac; 09-12-2005 at 08:32 AM.
    Daily Driver: 2013 Club edition in Pearl White Mica

    Lightness? What's that? I drive a PRHT!

  11. #11
    Obnoxious at any speed altiain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onething

    I don't work around electric wires. I tell others how to do it safely!
    Apparently ladder safety isn't part of the presentation.
    Iain

    "We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw

  12. #12

  13. #13

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    Stabilizing the top of the ladder

    If you are working at the eave or plan to get off the ladder onto the roof, stabilize the top of the ladder. If the ladder rests against a gutter, first fit a 2-by-4 inside the gutter to keep it from crushing under the weight of the ladder. Then install an eye screw or drive a 3-inch nail into the fascia near each side rail, just above or below the gutter. Using 3/8-inch-diameter nylon rope, tie each side rail of the ladder to the eye screw or nail.
    Ok, am I missing something? How are you supposed to "first" fit a 2-by-4 in the gutter, drive nails into the facia, and tie the ladder to them if you need the ladder to get to that part of the house in the first place?

    C

  14. #14

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    Quote Originally Posted by ccage
    Ok, am I missing something? How are you supposed to "first" fit a 2-by-4 in the gutter, drive nails into the facia, and tie the ladder to them if you need the ladder to get to that part of the house in the first place?

    C
    The author's roof must be only six feet off the ground.

  15. #15

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    Wouldn't a better title for this post have been : onething: Victim of a Gravity.

    It wasn't the ladders fault it was that pesky gravity!

  16. #16

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    Quote Originally Posted by POS Racing
    Wouldn't a better title for this post have been : onething: Victim of a Gravity.

    It wasn't the ladders fault it was that pesky gravity!
    Who knew onething was such a fatty that he would have bent the aluminium ladder?

    For gosh sakes, don't get me near that damned thing!

  17. #17
    MME Goodwill Ambassador onething's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Treibenschnell
    Who knew onething was such a fatty that he would have bent the aluminium ladder?

    For gosh sakes, don't get me near that damned thing!
    My niece said that if my skinny butt bent it, the ladder was due to be retired
    Bidden or not bidden, God is present
    "Up until the moment of impact, I was still having fun." Bob J. Hall San Francisco Region



  18. #18
    Obnoxious at any speed altiain's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by onething
    I leaned my Grandfather's extension ladder up against the non-vertical facer board.
    Quote Originally Posted by onething
    My niece said that if my skinny butt bent it, the ladder was due to be retired
    You mean the fact that it was your grandfather's (which must date it back to around the birth of Christ) didn't clue you in?
    Iain

    "We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing." - George Bernard Shaw

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    Shallow and Pedantic Majik's Avatar
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    I think the whole problem here is that Halthing probably wasnt eating a stale cheese sandwich while using the ladder.

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