I cant help it

[Majik]

what did one snowman say to the other?

















do you smell carrots?

[Treibenschnell]

What did Frosty's girlfriend give him when she was mad at him?



The cold shoulder!

[Bolix]

Wanna hear a funny joke?


Women's rights!


(lol my friend's brother actualy responded with that answer when his Mom said the question at the dinner table once!)

[MadMonkey]

Hey look, a pairamedics!!





Sorry.....

[BAM!]

this joke was in my head all day, i have to tell someone! (although i may have changed it a bit, my memory isnt so good...)

bill gates, george bush, and "the general" (GM) were at a meeting. they were talking about new technology.
bill gates said, "hey let me help build cars! imagine what we could do together!"
the general kinda rolled his eyes.
the president saw that and responded
"yeah, we really dont need cars that go a million miles an hour and crashes ten times a day...."

[cone-cerned]

What two sports have face offs?








Hockey.......and









Leper boxing.

[altiain]

Groan...

Four Aggies are riding along in a pickup truck - two in the cab, and two in the open bed. As they go around a corner too fast, the Aggie driving loses control and drives off the road into a lake. The two Aggies in the cab survive, but the ones in the bed drown... because they couldn't figure out how to open the tailgate.

[black roadster]

1. How Do You Catch a Unique Rabbit?
Unique Up On It.

2. How Do You Catch a Tame Rabbit?
Tame Way, Unique Up On It.

3. How Do Crazy People Go Through The Forest?
They Take The Psycho Path

4. How Do You Get Holy Water?
You Boil The Hell Out Of It.

5. What Do Fish Say When They Hit a Concrete Wall?
Dam!

6. What Do Eskimos Get From Sitting On The Ice too Long?
Polaroid's

7. What Do You Call a Boomerang That Doesn't work?
A Stick

8.. What Do You Call Cheese That Isn't Yours?
Nacho Cheese.

9.. What Do You Call Santa's Helpers?
Subordinate Clauses.

10. What Do You Call Four Bullfighters In Quicksand?
Quattro Sinko.. !

11. What Do You Get From a Pampered Cow?
Spoiled Milk.

12. What Do You Get When You Cross a Snowman With a Vampire?
Frostbite.

13. What Lies At The Bottom Of The Ocean And Twitches?
A Nervous Wreck.

14. What's The Difference Between Roast Beef And Pea Soup?
Anyone Can Roast Beef. Can you pea soup?

15. Where Do You Find a Dog With No Legs?
Right Where You Left Him.

16. Why Do Gorillas Have Big Nostrils?
Because They Have Big Fingers.

17. Why Don't Blind People Like To Sky Dive?
Because It Scares The Dog.

18. What Kind Of Coffee Was Served On The Titanic?
InstantSanka.

19. What Is The Difference Between a Harley And a Hoover?
The Location Of The Dirt Bag.

20. Why Did Pilgrims' Pants Always Fall Down?
Because They Wore Their Belt Buckle On Their Hat.

21. What's The Difference Between a Bad Golfer And a Bad Skydiver?
A Bad Golfer Goes, Whack, Dang!A Bad Skydiver Goes Dang! Whack.

22. How Are a Texas Tornado And a Tennessee Divorce The Same?
Somebody's Gonna Lose A Trailer

Admit it, at least one of these made you laugh!

[Billy Blaze]

(from this months Playboy)

What did Cinderella do when she got to the Ball?

Choked

2. What do you get when you cross an insomniac agnostic dyslexic person?

Someone who stays up all night trying to figure out if there is a dog.

[David Crisford]

HOW TO TELL IF YOU'RE A SECRET REDNECK JEDI

If you hear . . . "Luke, I am your father... and your uncle..."

If you ever said the phrase, "May the force be with y'all."

Your Jedi robe is camouflage.

You have ever used your light saber to open a bottle of Bud Light.

At least one wing of your X-Wings is primer colored.

You can easily describe the taste of an Ewok.

You have ever had a land-speeder up on blocks in your yard.

The worst part of spending time on Dagobah is the dadgum skeeters.

Wookiees are offended by your B.O.

You have ever used the force to get yourself another beer so you didn't have to wait for a commercial.

You have ever used the force in conjunction with fishing or bowling.

You have ever had your R-2 unit use its self-defense electro-shock thingy to get the barbecue grill to light up.

You have a confederate flag painted on the hood of your land-speeder.

You ever fantasized about Princess Leia wearing Daisy Duke shorts.

You have the doors of your X-wing welded shut and you have to get in through the window.

Although you had to kill him, you kinda thought that Jabba the Hutt had a pretty good handle on how to treat his women.

You have a cousin who bears a strong resemblance to Chewbacca.

You suggested that they outfit the Millennium Falcon with redwood deck.

You were the only person drinking Jack Daniels during the cantina scene.

Your father has ever said to you, "Shoot, son come on over to the dark side...it'll be a hoot."

[riverracer]

Does it have to be funny?

[onething]

I think that deserves its own thread. Very profound.

[riverracer]

I think that deserves its own thread. Very profound.

Thank you...I'll be here all week...Please drive thru and try the veal