No joke - hard facts

Your President said change was coming. Part of the change is new definitions for common terms:

New Stock Market Terms



CEO - Chief Embezzlement Officer



CFO - Corporate Fraud Officer



BULL MARKET - A random market movement causing an investor to mistake himself for a financial genius



BEAR MARKET - a 6 to 18 month period when the kids get no allowance, the wife gets no jewelry, and the husband gets no sex.



VALUE INVESTING - The art of buying low and selling lower.



P/E RATIO - The percentage of investors wetting their pants as the market keeps crashing.



BROKER - What my financial planner has made me.



STANDARD & POOR - Your life in a nutshell.



STOCK ANALYST - Idiot who just downgraded your stock.



STOCK SPLIT - When your ex-wife and her lawyer split your assets equally between themselves.



MARKET CORRECTION - The day after you buy stocks.



CASH FLOW - The movement your money makes as it disappears down the toilet.



YAHOO - What you yell after selling it to some poor sucker for $240 per share.



WINDOWS - What you jump out of when you're the sucker who bought Yahoo at $240 per share.



INSTITUTIONAL INVESTOR - Past year investor who's now locked up in a nuthouse.



PROFIT - an archaic word no longer in use.





# # # # #

:clap: ... WAIT!!! :punchout:

Yawn...

Someone is posting the spam from their email onto the forum.

"and to the engineer, stating the obvious is redundant and therefore wasteful." ::Rasp::

I'd post my SPAM but I don't think anybody would be interested in a Free Credit Report from Barnyard Sluts that drink Discount Gevalia Coffee.

Dear Sir/Ma,

Would you like to work online from Home/Temporarily and get paid weekly? We are glad to offer you for a job position at our company, BEAUCHAMP INTERIORS We need someone to work for the company as a Representative/Bookkeeper in the USA. This is in view of our not having an office presently in the USA.

I won't post the rest of it cause I don't want any of you guys stealing this out from under me!::BaHump::

Quote:

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Originally Posted by cam76034

Dear Sir/Ma,

Would you like to work online from Home/Temporarily and get paid weekly? We are glad to offer you for a job position at our company, BEAUCHAMP INTERIORS We need someone to work for the company as a Representative/Bookkeeper in the USA. This is in view of our not having an office presently in the USA.

I won't post the rest of it cause I don't want any of you guys stealing this out from under me!::BaHump::

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Sounds like the World Headquarters is somewhere in a dark corner of Nigeria...

I would post mine but I was told that it was best not to tell my friends and family until my bank account can be verified.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by trickyrix

I'd post my SPAM but I don't think anybody would be interested in a Free Credit Report from Barnyard Sluts that drink Discount Gevalia Coffee.

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Thats a pretty specific fetish you have there Rick...