Church Jokes

Two boys were walking home from Sunday school after hearing a strong preaching on the devil. One said to the other, 'What do you think about all this Satan stuff?'
The other boy replied, 'Well, you know how Santa Claus turned out. It's probably just your Dad.'


At Sunday School they were teaching how God created everything, including human beings. Little Johnny seemed especially intent when they told him how Eve was created out of one of Adam's ribs.
Later in the week his mother noticed him lying down as though he were ill, and she said, 'Johnny, what is the matter?' Little Johnny responded, 'I have pain in my side. I think I'm going to have a wife.'

::Rimshot:

There was this priest, rabbi, and cleric....I forget the rest!!:punchout:

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist?

Methodists say hello to each other in the liquor store.

Quote:

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Originally Posted by black roadster

What's the difference between a Baptist and a Methodist?

Methodists say hello to each other in the liquor store.

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If you take a baptist fishing, make sure and bring two, otherwise he'll drink all your beer ;)

Church joke dogpile!

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How many Christians does it take to change a lightbulb?

Charismatics: Only one. Hands already in the air.

Pentecostals: Ten. One to change the bulb, and nine to pray against the spirit of darkness.

Presbyterians: None. Lights will go on and off at predestined times.

Roman Catholic: None. Candles only.

Baptists: At least 15. One to change the light bulb, and three committees to approve the change and decide who brings the potato salad.

Episcopalians: Three. One to call the electrician, one to mix the drinks and one to talk about how much better the old one was.

Methodists: Undetermined. Whether your light is bright, dull, or completely out, you are loved. You can be a light bulb, turnip bulb, or tulip bulb. Church wide lighting service is planned for Sunday. Bring bulb of your choice and a covered dish.

Nazarene: Six. One woman to replace the bulb while five men review church lighting policy.

Lutherans: None. Lutherans don't believe in change.

Jehovah's Witnesses: Three. One to screw in the bulb, and two to knock on your door and ask you if you've seen the light!

Mormons: Just one, after his wives have gotten on the school bus.

Amish: What's a light bulb?

Deadheads: nobody knows, they just wait for it to burn out and follow it around for 30 years.

Two little boys growing up next door to each other are members of different faiths. One is a Catholic and one Baptist. Their parents agree to let the boys each attend one service with the other boy. When they go to the Catholic church the catholic boy explains each part of the Mass, the incense, communion, lesson, etc. When they go to the Baptist church the following week they see the preacher remove his watch, look at it carefully and set it down on the pulpit. The Catholic boy asks his friend what that means and the Baptist boy tells him "Not a damn thing".