The wonders of modern medicine

Seriously, I couldn't make this shit up if I tried...

"A 55-year-old British man whose bowel was ruptured in a nearly catastrophic traffic accident has been fitted with a bionic sphincter that opens and closes with a remote controller. Ged Galvin had originally endured 13 surgeries in a 13-week hospital stay and had grown frustrated with using a colostomy bag until surgeon Norman Williams of the Royal London Hospital proposed the imaginative operation. Dr. Williams, who was interviewed along with Galvin for a November feature in London's Daily Mail, wrapped a muscle transplanted from Galvin's leg around the sphincter and attached electrodes to tighten or loosen the muscle's grip."

I mean... who wouldn't want to have a remote-controlled bionic sphincter???

Now how to use it to get out of a ticket...

and the first store you go to never has the right batteries.

The remote control to my mom's garage door opener would go off everytime the local police would use a certain frequency. That might be a problem with a remote sphincter.

That is one remote control you do NOT want to lose!

And don't set it down next to your TV remote during your next party...

Hahahaha...its most likely NOT wireless.

Imagine having to sync a bluetooth device with you a$$ hole and get it confused with the ear bud. ::Banana::