Never heard of this site before, but I laughed my azz off this morning at work reading this
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Autocross
Printable View
Never heard of this site before, but I laughed my azz off this morning at work reading this
http://uncyclopedia.wikia.com/wiki/Autocross
It's funny because it's true!
Street Tire Class: This is different than the rollicking ST* classes. Street Tire is for those who are too lazy to change tires that day for the event, too cheap to run their R-Compounds at the local site (trash, rocks...), corded their R's setting FTD at (insert name) event or they are saving them for a National Tour and/or Divisional. These people harken back to the origin of autocross; drivers who are running the event to keep from mowing the lawn. They have patented excuses why they were slower today and they can regale you with story after story of past glories. Probably the most fun at an event is to hang with these guys/gals.
:clap:
LOL!Quote:
F Modified: This is the worst of all the classes. The cars are horrifically loud and most people have a deep hatred for them and their drivers. Ever wonder what it sounds like when Satan cuts his grass? Most of these cars are hand built by Satan and his minions and are the sole cause of suicide, AIDS and the Avian Flu. Most of the people who run these cars are crotchety old men who only compete on glass smooth lots and when the temperature is 70 degrees out. They also break, a lot. And by a lot I mean always.
::Fruity::Quote:
E Stock: If you don't ever want to have to lift during a run, you'll fit right in here. You should probably move to Tennessee if you want to be "fast". Most E Stock cars, once deemed suitable for competition, can be found abandoned in a ditch for short periods of time. Cars in E Stock are so evenly matched that some competitors have been known to remove emblems to find that last .0001 of time on course. Course workers rarely call in penalties on these cars as they are distracted by the blood coming out of their ears. Most E-Stock cars spend their weekdays being used in Gay Pride parades (ie., the Mazda Miata).
::Curls::Quote:
Ladies: This is a special class designed to promote attendance by female drivers, playing to the old stereotype of "women drivers, no survivors." However, this class is usually dominated by transsexuals, cross dressers, and other shifty types. See also, 'Chude.'