Whelp, I finally drank the Koolaid and got one. I picked up a 1995 Miata from the guys over at Day Custom Engine in Garland. They rebuilt the engine with seals, gaskets, and rings, then sold it to a guy. That guy drove it to ft worth and pretty much immediately called them back asking for his money back and it's leaking oil and blah blah blah blah. They were in the middle of moving shops from Richardson, so they just took the car back, gave him his money, and parked it.
They didn't want to really deal with it while they are getting their shop set up, so last thursday, they sold it to me for 900 bucks while being completely open about the fact that it leaks tons of oil and the transmission rattles like a tin can with marbles in it. I test drove the car, and it seemed pretty solid other than the stated problems, a ripped rear window, a few dings and scratches, and a lack of head unit or speakers (weight reduction!), so I bought it. They were even nice enough to tow it to my place of employment for me that same day. I parked it in the employee lot, prayed nobody would ask questions about the trail of oil from the bank parking lot or the pool of oil under the little black car, and went home.
Friday afternoon, we had no work left, so I brought it in and got down to business. I put the car up on a lift, laid some diapers under the front end (grey absorbent thingies we have for oil spills), and fired her up. When we got the car in the air, it was pretty clear the oil was spurting from the sides of the lower timing cover, so I took all that junk off and verified it was indeed the oil pump that was leaking. From there you can pretty much get the story from the pictures. My fingers hurt.
Pictures and a bit more story. http://imgur.com/a/VZbLl
Well, this should be fun!