You might be a racer if...
An oldie but goodie. :wink:
You might be a racer if....
- You walk proper lines through the grocery store.
- You've been known to yell "It means 'check your mirrors' dammit!" at your
television. - You've paid $4.00 a gallon for gas without complaining.
- You bought a race car before buying a house.
- You bought a race car before buying furniture for the new house.
- You buy new parts because you don't know where you put the spares.
- You're looking for a tow vehicle and still haven't bought furniture!
- You find that you need a new house because you've outgrown your garage and the neighbors are threatening violence if you park one more vehicle on the street or in the front yard.
- The requirements you give your real estate agent are (in order of
importance):
- 8 car climate controlled garage with an attached shop.
- Outside parking for 6 cars, a motorhome, a crew cab dualie, a 28'
enclosed trailer and a 34' 5th wheel. - 3 phase 220V outlets in the garage for your welder.
- A grease pit.
- Convenient to a hazardous waste disposal site.
- Deaf neighbors.
- Across the street from a paint and body shop.
- Some sort of house with a working toilet and shower on the property
somewhere - or hookups for the motorhome.
- You measure all family acquisitions in terms of the number of race tires
that could have been purchased. - You know well that Orthodontic work is the equivalant of three sets of
tires - You hear "overcooked it" and think "off the track" instead of "John's
Grill". - You sit in your race car in a dark garage and make car noises and shift
and practice your heel and toe, while waiting for your motor to get back
from the machine shop. - You look at the purchase of tools as a long term investment.
- Your wife says, "If you buy another set of tires, I'm getting a new mink."
- Your garage holds more cars than your house has bedrooms.
- You have enough spare parts to build another car
- More than one racer supply house recognizes your voice and greets you by name when you call
- You have car parts in your cubicle at work
- The guys at the local tire store laugh when you come in
- You think the last line of the Star Spangled Banner is: "Racers, start
your engines!" - You can't remember when you last worked on weekdays and rested on
weekends. - You're registered for wedding gifts at Pegasus and Racer Wholesale.
- Your Christmas list begins with another set of V710s and Pauter rods
(and your 'significant other' knows what these are). - After your answer to "What did you do this weekend?" the next question is
always: "And you do this for fun? - You have a separate drawer for 'garage clothes'.
- Your reading material in your bathroom consists of auto parts and racing
supply catalogs, several books written by famous drivers, every book Caroll
Smith has ever written.... and 400 car magazines, none of which have
centerfolds. - People know you by your class letter, car number, and car color.
- People know you by your "off"s.
"Oh, you're the one stuck in the mud at Lime Rock last weekend!" - You talk to other cars on the road, calling them by the manufacturer's
name - Your first date involves asking her to crew for you.
- Your criteria for selecting a significant other include auto repair
skills. Air tools optional. - Your friends don't recognize you without a helmet and driver's suit.
- Your family remembers your hair color as "grease".
- You plan your wedding around the race schedule.
- You astound the clerk at Sears by bringing in a snapped breaker bar every
other week or so. - You remember the dates and details of every race you've ever been in, but
can't remember your phone number. - Your family brings the couch into the garage so they can spend some time
with you. - You complain when cars in front of you on highway off-ramps don't stay on the line, causing your exit speed to drop. :mrgreen:
- A neighbor asks if you have any oil, to which you query, "Synthetic or
organic?" and they reply, "Vegetable or corn." - You give out Summit Racing's number when a friend asks for the best
hardware store. - You refer to the corner down the street from your house as "Turn One."
- You look at the fire hydrant at that corner and see an apex marker.
- You enjoy driving in the rain on the way to work or school.
- You always late apex the intersection and try to pass a few cars coming
out (guilty!). - Everywhere you go, you try to find the fastest line through the turn
- You always do a toe & heel downshift while whoever might be your passenger gives you a real funny look.
