Parking lot rules.

New Parking Rules (Not to be taken seriously!)

Rule #1 - When waiting for a parking spot, stop in the
middle of the road, don't signal, and orient your car
diagonally to prevent others from passing.

Rule #2 - Always park on the lines, taking up as many spots
as possible. Diagonal parking is preferred.

Rule #3 - In a crowded parking lot, if you find a spot and
have the opportunity to pull through to an adjacent one,
drive up half way and stop on the line, taking both.

Rule #4 - As you pull into a spot, if you see that the space
ahead of you is empty and you see another driver signaling
to take it, pull though and take it from him.

Rule #5 - Always park close enough to the adjacent car so
that the other driver must grease up with Vaseline to
squeeze into his/her car.

Rule #6 - When getting out of your car, hit the adjacent
vehicle with your door really hard.

Rule #7 - When driving through the parking lot, ignore the
painted lanes and drive diagonally from one end to another
at a high rate of speed.

Rule #8 - Empty your ashtrays on the ground in shopping
center parking lots. While your at it, dump out all the
garbage, too, including that Wendy's or McDonald's bag
sitting in the back seat from breakfast. Go ahead and
throw that dirty diper out too.

Rule #9 - When a vehicle from the opposite direction is
signaling and waiting for a parking space, position your
car so that you are in his way and let the car behind you
take it.

Rule #10 - If you don't see a speed limit signposted in
the malls parking lot, there isn't any!