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Thread: Funny Story of the Day

  1. #1

    Default Funny Story of the Day

    Edit: NOT True Story:

    On a recent weekend in Atlantic City, a woman won a bucketful of
    quarters at a slot machine. She took a break from the slots for dinner
    with her husband in the hotel dining room. But first she wanted to
    stash the quarters in her room. "I'll be right back and we'll go to
    eat," she told her husband and carried the coin-laden bucket to the
    elevator.
    As she was about to walk into the elevator she noticed two men already
    aboard. Both were black. One of them was
    tall...very tall...an intimidating figure. The woman froze. Her first thought was: "These two are going to rob me. "Her next thought was: "Don't be a bigot; they look like perfectly nice gentlemen. " But racial stereotypes
    are powerful, and fear immobilized her.

    She stood and stared at the two men. She felt anxious, flustered and ashamed. She hoped they didn't read her mind but gosh, they had to know what she was thinking!!! Her hesitation about joining them in the elevator was all too obvious now. Her face was flushed. She couldn't just stand there, so with a mighty effort of will she picked up one foot and stepped forward and followed with the other foot and was on the elevator.

    Avoiding eye contact, she turned around stiffly and faced the elevator
    doors as they closed. A second passed, and then another second, and
    then another. Her fear increased!

    The elevator didn't move. Panic consumed her.

    "My God," she thought, I'm trapped and about to be robbed!" Her heart
    plummeted. Perspiration poured from every pore. Then one of the men said, "Hit the floor." Instinct told her to do what they told her. The
    bucket of quarters flew upwards as she threw out her arms and
    collapsed on the elevator floor. A shower of coins rained down on her.
    Take my money and spare me, she prayed.

    More seconds passed. She heard one of the men say politely,
    "Ma'am, if you'll just tell us what floor you're going to, we'll push
    the button."

    The one who said it had a little trouble getting the words out. He
    was trying mightily to hold in a belly laugh. The woman lifted her head
    and looked up at the two men. They reached down to help her up.
    Confused, she struggled to her feet.

    "When I told my friend here to hit the floor," said the average
    sized one, "I meant that he should hit the elevator button for our
    floor. I didn't mean for you to hit the floor, ma'am." He spoke
    genially. He bit his lip. It was obvious he was having a hard time not
    laughing.

    The woman thought: "My God, what a spectacle I've made of myself."
    She was too humiliated to speak. She wanted to blurt out
    an apology, but words failed her. How do you apologize to two
    perfectly respectable gentlemen for behaving as though they were going
    to rob you? She didn't know what to say.

    The three of them gathered up the strewn quarters and refilled her
    bucket. When the elevator arrived at her floor they then insisted on
    walking her to her room. She seemed a little unsteady on her feet, and
    they were afraid she might not make it down the corridor. At her door
    they bid her a good evening.

    As she slipped into her room she could hear them roaring with laughter as they walked back to the elevator. The woman brushed
    herself off. She pulled herself together and went downstairs for
    dinner with her husband.

    The next morning flowers were delivered to her room - a dozen yellow
    roses. Attached to EACH rose was a crisp one hundred dollar bill.

    The card said:
    "Thanks for the best laugh we've had in years."

    It was signed:
    Eddie Murphy
    Michael Jordan
    Last edited by Magma; 03-18-2008 at 08:55 AM. Reason: was proven wrong
    2005 Lava Orange MSM #601/1428
    211 rwhp, 195 ft. lbs on 1/6/07

  2. #2

  3. #3
    2005 Lava Orange MSM #601/1428
    211 rwhp, 195 ft. lbs on 1/6/07

  4. #4

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Magma View Post
    was passed on to me as a true story
    My God man! Do your due diligence before passing on a "true" story.

    http://www.snopes.com/racial/mistaken/hitfloor.asp

    Daily Driver: 2013 Club edition in Pearl White Mica

    Lightness? What's that? I drive a PRHT!

  5. #5

    Default

    hey when it is sent by my Mom, I have to take her word, although now I will doubt everything she tells me
    2005 Lava Orange MSM #601/1428
    211 rwhp, 195 ft. lbs on 1/6/07

  6. #6

    Talking

    Quote Originally Posted by Magma View Post
    hey when it is sent by my Mom, I have to take her word, although now I will doubt everything she tells me
    But up to this point, you have believed everything she told you? Man, you have missed out. Trust me, you won't go blind.

  7. #7

    Default

    So that's NOT why I have hairy palms??
    09 Lexus RX350
    .... no Miata

  8. #8

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Magma View Post
    hey when it is sent by my Mom, I have to take her word, although now I will doubt everything she tells me
    You were adopted and your parents are actually hillybillys from Arkansas, Imogene and Rufus Snurd.
    ...and across the line.

    1996 Mazda Miata - R-Package (Eve-L)
    2012 Mazda CX-9 - Grand Touring (Dory)




  9. #9

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by Magma View Post
    hey when it is sent by my Mom, I have to take her word, although now I will doubt everything she tells me
    Just do what I did. I introduced my mom to http://www.snopes.com

    Funny thing, she spent a couple of hours just reading and laughing... and she stopped sending that kind of stuff along.

    RJ
    Daily Driver: 2013 Club edition in Pearl White Mica

    Lightness? What's that? I drive a PRHT!

  10. #10

    Default

    Quote Originally Posted by channelmaniac View Post
    Just do what I did. I introduced my mom to http://www.snopes.com

    Funny thing, she spent a couple of hours just reading and laughing... and she stopped sending that kind of stuff along.

    RJ
    I've "almost" trained my Mom to check Snopes before sending stuff along. There are nefarious spoof emails out there that now say, "I've checked snopes.com and this is true!!!!"

    ...and across the line.

    1996 Mazda Miata - R-Package (Eve-L)
    2012 Mazda CX-9 - Grand Touring (Dory)




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