A Street Prepared: If you Google search "Junior Johnson gets his ass kicked" you will generate zero results. It just doesn't happen. - Some people wear Superman pajamas. Superman wears Junior Johnson pajamas. - If, by some incredible space-time paradox, Junior Johnson would ever race himself, he'd win. Period. - Junior Johnson won super bowls VII and VIII singlehandedly before unexpectedly retiring to pursue a career in autocrossing. - Junior Johnson is the only person to ever win a staring contest against Ray Charles and Stevie Wonder at the same time. - Junior Johnson played golf against Tiger Woods and won by over 7 seconds. It was an even larger victory in PAX.