WTF?

[Nails]

There is no excuse you can give to justify teaching a 3 year old profanity.
I'd bet your sergeant would agree too. I'm sorry I even brought it up earlier.

[ray_sir_6]

You'll find that those words will cause your daughter much pain and grief when her friends go home and tell their parents the new words they learned at your house. Parents talk, you know, and it won't be long before the playdates and birthday invites dry up. Have you considered what it will feel like for her to be a social outcast among her peers?

Well, she is smart enough to know the appropriate times to use them. She actually has a good grasp on their proper use, mostly when she gets hurts is when she uses them, or when we are busy and she wants something important and she isn't getting any response.

"Daddy...I want juice....I want juice.....juice....daddy, I want f*cking juice."

She isn't using them in every sentence, or all the time.

[ray_sir_6]

There is no excuse you can give to justify teaching a 3 year old profanity.
I'd bet your sergeant would agree too. I'm sorry I even brought it up earlier.

You mean the guy who had a video of his 4 or 5yr old (don't remember) little girl saying "FUCK YOU" and giving the finger on his computer?

[MX-5EE]

There is no excuse you can give to justify teaching a 3 year old profanity.
I'd bet your sergeant would agree too. I'm sorry I even brought it up earlier.

You should have just left it as a skin infection.

[black roadster]

As a father of a 2 year old I find this very disturbing.

I don't think you can begin to compare religious messages with profanity.

Not to many 3 year olds going around trying to "save" people anyway.

If your daughter used that language around my daughter that would be the last play date we had. I'm not a religious nut either. Profanity is just in poor taste and ignorant. Maybe instead of teaching her social reviled words you could expand her vocabulary with different words from the dictionary.

Oh and regarding expecting a three year old to know restraint and etiquette with using foul language, I can't even expect that out of my eleven and twelve year old much less a three year old.

[cArAzzIE]

I was always told by my mother that using profanity was a sign of ignorance because it meant the person had a limited vocabulary to express themselves with. I believe it also shows a lack of creativity, there are plenty more colorful fun words to use - even if you make up your own. I think a lot of people use profane words to invoke intimidation or to express anger...either way, in my eyes, it makes the person look ignorant.

But to each his own.

[ray_sir_6]

As a father of a 2 year old I find this very disturbing.

I don't think you can begin to compare religious messages with profanity.

Not to many 3 year olds going around trying to "save" people anyway.

If your daughter used that language around my daughter that would be the last play date we had. I'm not a religious nut either. Profanity is just in poor taste and ignorant. Maybe instead of teaching her social reviled words you could expand her vocabulary with different words from the dictionary.

Oh and regarding expecting a three year old to know restraint and etiquette with using foul language, I can't even expect that out of my eleven and twelve year old much less a three year old.

Well, first off, we didn't "teach" her to say it, but they tend to use the words they hear. My daughter has not used them in front of anyone but us, and uses them very rarely, but she has grasped their proper usage very well. Last night she wanted some of the crackers I was eating, and it was soo funny.

"I want some crackers. I want crackers."
Then my wife said, "say please and maybe he will give you some."

"F*cking crackers please."

Needless to say, we both started rolling!

I was always told by my mother that using profanity was a sign of ignorance because it meant the person had a limited vocabulary to express themselves with. I believe it also shows a lack of creativity, there are plenty more colorful fun words to use - even if you make up your own. I think a lot of people use profane words to invoke intimidation or to express anger...either way, in my eyes, it makes the person look ignorant.

But to each his own.

Or it means that the person saying it is speaking on a level that everyone else can understand. I have never found the need to prove how smart I am by using multi-syllable words.

[cArAzzIE]

Laughing at toddlers/children enganged in inappropriate adult behavior is pathetic. Being the parent of the toddler and laughing is reprehensible. Defending yourself to a group that obviously is appalled by your lack of parenting skills is a waste of your time.

[ray_sir_6]

.....
"inappropriate adult behavior"?

Speaking isn't inappropriate, and just cause some people are so insecure about themselves that they become offended over simple WORDS doesn't mean that I, or anyone else, shouldn't use them.

Lack of parenting skills? She only speaks at the same level or better than all the 4 and 5 yr olds that I have seen. Hell, my nephew is only 15 days younger, and he started using combinations of words in short sentences 2 wks ago. Maybe that has something to do with not LIMITING what she can say.

Oh well, me bad parent.

[TurboDuane]

We just will explain reality to her when she is old enough to understand, in the meantime, we let the adults say whatever they want, no matter how offensive it is.

I don't know where you work, or what social circles you run in, but unless you want her entire adulthood to be in a trailer park, you should start working on teaching her proper communication skills. Often communication skills can mean the difference from getting a decent job and being un-employed. Or in the early years the difference from getting to go to school and being expelled. Unless you and your wife change your parenting techniques, then her only chance for success will be if/when she becomes smarter than her parents, and sees the error of her ways. If that happens, she will go from being your entertainment to her being "rightfully" embarrassed of her parents.

BTW, concerning your "its only words" argument, wrong, It's communication skills. Bad skills, equals crummy life. It's kinda like saying, why wear clothes that cover your body, ....why not run around naked. I mean its the same body you would be showing off in public, only un-clothed. Bottom line is they aren't only words, it's perception. If you want your daughter to be perceived as poor, trashy, and vial, then you are headed the right direction. With time, her self perception will mold into what other people perceive her as, then it becomes true.

The good news is it's not too late, If you mature and grow up, you can teach her her how to act, talk and communicate. Do her a favor, instead of defending your actions, think about what I've said long and hard, then do the right thing.

TD

[cArAzzIE]

.....
"inappropriate adult behavior"?

Speaking isn't inappropriate, and just cause some people are so insecure about themselves that they become offended over simple WORDS doesn't mean that I, or anyone else, shouldn't use them.

Lack of parenting skills? She only speaks at the same level or better than all the 4 and 5 yr olds that I have seen. Hell, my nephew is only 15 days younger, and he started using combinations of words in short sentences 2 wks ago. Maybe that has something to do with not LIMITING what she can say.

Oh well, me bad parent.

I'm not questioning your childrens intelligence. As they grow up they will test "new waters" just to see your reaction...will you be laughing then? Especially if they are exceptionally bright, they will think they are smarter and know a LOT more than you do, possibly even lose respect for you. You'll have your hands full for sure. Parents set the tone as to what is acceptable and what is not.

Everyone's got an opinion that no one wants to hear, including me.

[ray_sir_6]

I don't know where you work, or what social circles you run in, but unless you want her entire adulthood to be in a trailer park, you should start working on teaching her proper communication skills.

Already teaching her proper communication skills. We just aren't reprimanding her for using words that we also use.

Often communication skills can mean the difference from getting a decent job and being un-employed. Or in the early years the difference from getting to go to school and being expelled.

Again, she is <3yrs old, so when she is old enough to be in school she will be old enough to understand when and where it is appropriate due to current standards.

Unless you and your wife change your parenting techniques, then her only chance for success will be if/when she becomes smarter than her parents, and sees the error of her ways. If that happens, she will go from being your entertainment to her being "rightfully" embarrassed of her parents.

She doesn't swear or curse around company, and neither do we, unless it's friends that we are comfortable with. She has picked up on that already, and without us having to say anything.

BTW, concerning your "its only words" argument, wrong, It's communication skills. Bad skills, equals crummy life. It's kinda like saying, why wear clothes that cover your body, ....why not run around naked. I mean its the same body you would be showing off in public, only un-clothed.

No, that analogy is not even close. The proper analogy would be wearing shorts and a t-shirt to work instead of slacks and a Polo shirt. Yeah, some people would ASSUME that I was low class cause I am dressed in what they think someone of that stature would wear. Of course, the same ASSUMPTION is that guys that drive Miata's are gay. In both scenarios, the ASSUMPTION is wrong. Yeah, initial impressions are important, but if that is all they go on, then I am better off without them.

Bottom line is they aren't only words, it's perception. If you want your daughter to be perceived as poor, trashy, and vial, then you are headed the right direction. With time, her self perception will mold into what other people perceive her as, then it becomes true.

"You are full of sh*t." vs "You don't know what you are talking about."

Both mean the same thing, that you are wrong in what you are saying. So long as you aren't stressing the curse word or yelling, there is ZERO difference. The only difference in WHEN they would be used is based on who it is being directed towards. If a customer came in, I would definitely use the "nicer" of the two, but, again, I am still saying both, but verballizing the one with more tact. If it's a friend, I would use the other. If my friend and a customer was there, and I was talking to my friend, I would still use the shorter one.

The good news is it's not too late, If you mature and grow up, you can teach her her how to act, talk and communicate. Do her a favor, instead of defending your actions, think about what I've said long and hard, then do the right thing.

TD

Sadly, for most people, it is too late. Oh well, minority vs majority.

[ray_sir_6]

I'm not questioning your childrens intelligence. As they grow up they will test "new waters" just to see your reaction...will you be laughing then? Especially if they are exceptionally bright, they will think they are smarter and know a LOT more than you do, possibly even lose respect for you. You'll have your hands full for sure. Parents set the tone as to what is acceptable and what is not.

Everyone's got an opinion that no one wants to hear, including me.

We don't let her yell at people, or throw things, cause that is being disrespectful. So long as she remains calm and says something nicely, she can say whatever she wants. We do not raise our voice in our house...all discussions are done at a mellow tone, even arguments.

You can tell me "You are a motherf*cking idiot." and I wouldn't have any different reaction than if you said, "You are an idiot." But if you yelled either one, I would be just as offended. Tone is everything, words are nothing.

[Miatamaniac92]

Is it even reasonable to be able to base judgment on someone's Child rearing skills based solely on an internet forum thread?

All things being equal, cussing even from a child is not the worst thing you can do when raising a child, IMHO. I've seen some pretty messed up kids speaking properly.

My parents cussed, they didn't specifically allow me to, but I did. Especially with my peers. I cuss less now, than as a child. However, I was taught the meaning of proper respect IE "Yes ma'am," "no sir," and "Thank You." Which I still use more than any cuss word.

I'll admit to having a stereotype in my head of the seeing children cussing, but I won't go further than that.


Chris

[black roadster]

I think I kind of see where ray_sir_6 is coming from.

I do appreciate the humor in seeing my daughter come up with new words and I guess he sees no difference in the more colorful words in our language.

An example was a few weeks ago when Katie's Grammy said, "Come on Katie and lets change your britches." and Katie responded, "Changes my bitches." Sure it was funny at the time but I am not going to encourage it.

We also have used milder cuss words around Katie accidentally but certainly try to watch ourselves. I still think cuss words are never appropriate but they are more acceptable in certain circles.

The difference is I don't try to encourage or use those words around my kids and I don't expect them to use them even if I slip every so often. The argument that says if I do it my kid should be able to too is weak. Kids need boundaries, rules and are held to different expectations than adults. You are the parents and the adults.

Like I tell my eleven and twelve year old when I mess up. "Do as I say, not as I do." Usually followed up with, "When you're 18 and living on your own, you can do whatever you want. Until then, you'll do as we say."

[ray_sir_6]

I think I kind of see where ray_sir_6 is coming from.

I do appreciate the humor in seeing my daughter come up with new words and I guess he sees no difference in the more colorful words in our language.

An example was a few weeks ago when Katie's Grammy said, "Come on Katie and lets change your britches." and Katie responded, "Changes my bitches." Sure it was funny at the time but I am not going to encourage it.

We also have used milder cuss words around Katie accidentally but certainly try to watch ourselves. I still think cuss words are never appropriate but they are more acceptable in certain circles.

The difference is I don't try to encourage or use those words around my kids and I don't expect them to use them even if I slip every so often. The argument that says if I do it my kid should be able to too is weak. Kids need boundaries, rules and are held to different expectations than adults. You are the parents and the adults.

Like I tell my eleven and twelve year old when I mess up. "Do as I say, not as I do." Usually followed up with, "When you're 18 and living on your own, you can do whatever you want. Until then, you'll do as we say."

We have curtailed our swearing back ALOT now that we have a kid. But the things we have to work on more is the more "acceptable" phrases, like...

"shut up", "show me your t*ts", "nice ass", etc.

My wife and I are very open and honest, so we say whatever we want to each other.

[black roadster]

My wife and I are very open and honest, so we say whatever we want to each other.

Same here. We just watch it in front of the kids. Besides, "Nice Ass" comes across a lot better when you grab your wife, rub her shoulders, pull her hair back and whisper it in her ear.

If you're subtle you can even get a little squeeze in.

[MX-5EE]

Somehow, a tiny and somewhat bad joke about internet acronyms sounding like diseases has turned into a multi-page low grade flame war on parenting.

Perhaps it is time for a lock?

[cArAzzIE]

*snip*

"shut up", "show me your t*ts", "nice ass", etc. My wife and I are very open and honest, so we say whatever we want to each other.

I guess I came from a strict background...I got in trouble just for saying "shut up" to one of my siblings. My mother was intolerant of pretty much any negative behavior...maybe that's why I cuss so much now that I have passed the age of 18!

"Like I tell my eleven and twelve year old when I mess up. "Do as I say, not as I do." Usually followed up with, "When you're 18 and living on your own, you can do whatever you want. Until then, you'll do as we say."

My mother used that too...as well as "because I said so" - there was no such thing as diplomacy between parent and kid when I was growing up.

[TurboDuane]

Again, she is <3yrs old, so when she is old enough to be in school she will be old enough to understand when and where it is appropriate due to current standards.

"You are full of sh*t." vs "You don't know what you are talking about."

You'd obviously prefer to defend your actions, rather than reflect on them, fine with me, I personally could care less, your kid = your problem. But as a father of two boys, one 26 and the other 17, I might possibly have some experience you could benefit from.

With my first, I was all about him properly addressing adults. But by the time the younger boy came, I was far more relaxed, and really waited to long before making it an issue. I may have been too hard on the first, at least that's what my wife said, but I've made up for it by being to lenient on the younger one. The consequence is that when I felt the younger boy's language and communication with adults was becoming an issue, it was too late, He thought I was just being over-sensitive and lame (I hope this doesn't happen to you). Don't get me wrong, he's not out of control, but he's got some harder lessons coming to him as he enters the world as an adult, than his older brother did. If I were a betting man, I'd say his communication skills may put him 20 years behind his brother who's only 10 years older.

She doesn't swear or curse around company, and neither do we, unless it's friends that we are comfortable with. She has picked up on that already, and without us having to say anything.

She will, and at the most in-opportune time.

First of all, I never said I don't cuss, and I'm not a prude by any since of the word, but have always tried to refrain from it around younger children. Believe me, I get how funny little kids are, but you have to be careful about laughing at grossly in-appropriate actions, because you are encouraging the kid to continue to do so.

Do yourself a favor (because you are the ones that will deal with this later on) You and your wife can laugh, just try and refrain when in her presence.

Personally, you can take or leave my advise, I care not. It's easy being a parent of a 3 year old (remember, I've been there and done it). But by the time they are 13 until they are adults, you had better hold on, because you've got one hell of a ride ahead. Everything that happens prior to 12 years of age, will carry over and grow exponentially in the teen age years.

Good luck