Texan in Hell

[black roadster]

A Texan dies and goes to hell. While down there the devil notices that the Texan is not suffering like the rest He checks the gauges and sees that it's 100 degrees and about 80% humidity. So he goes over to the Texan and asks why he's so happy. The Texan says, "I really like it here. The temperature is just like Dallas in June."

The devil isn't happy with the Texan's answer and decides to fix him, so he goes over and turns up the thermostat to 120 degrees and the humidity to 90%. After turning everything up he goes looking for the Texan. He finds him standing around unbuttoning his shirt, just as happy as can be. The devil quizzes the Texan again as to why he's so happy. The Texan says, "This is even better. It's like Austin in July."

The devil, now really upset, decides to make the Texan really understand that hell is no paradise. He walks over to the controls and turns the heat up to 140 degrees and the humidity to 100%. "Now let's see what the Texan is up to," he thinks. So he goes looking for the Texan. The devil finds the Texan taking his shirt off basking in the heat, even happier than before. The devil can't figure it out. He asks the Texan why he's happy now. The Texan replies, "This is great, it's just like Brownsville in August."

The devil says, "That's it, I'll get this guy." He walks over and turns the temperature down to a freezing 25 degrees below zero. "Now let's see what the Texan has to say about this," the devil thinks to himself. He looks around and finds the Texan jumping up and down for joy. "What are you so happy about now," asks the devil. Still excited, the Texan replies, "YIPEE! The Rangers have finally won the World Series!"

[jeepinbanditrider]

LMAO that sounds about right

[Rob®]

I don't get the humidity reference. Maybe just coming from Florida has made me biased, but Texas feels about as dry heat as you can get.

[goofygrin]

I don't get the humidity reference. Maybe just coming from Florida has made me biased, but Texas feels about as dry heat as you can get.

Go to Colorado or the desert. This is not nearly as humid as "your shirt is soaked when you walk outside" Miami, but it's vastly different than Denver.

[Rob®]

I've been to both. And I agree. I just don't understand why I keep hearing Texas is humid. I'd say it's leaning much more to the dry heat side than the humid side. But opinions are opinions, so to each their own.

[sammm]

Typically as the temp rises, the humidity will fall around here. Seeing as it hasn't rained in 4 months is keeping the humidity down too.

PS
It's never as bad as Florida humidity, or dry as Colorado.

[jeepinbanditrider]

This part of Texas is. Houston area is really humid. Probably not Alabama/Florida humid but still really humid.

[Rob®]

Houston area is really humid. Probably not Alabama/Florida humid but still really humid.

This I will agree with. We were down that way maybe a month ago, and it was damn near Florida nasty humid. Was a great reminder of why I couldn't stand living there.

[Titus]

I am from Northern California (hot and dry). On most summer days, there is very little difference between there and here. The only time it is noticeably humid here is in the days following a big thunderstorm. I have visited Orlando, Charlotte, Houston, and Atlanta and promptly placed them on the "places I don't want to live" list do to humidity MUCH worse than here.

[Rob®]

I have visited Orlando, and promptly placed them on the "places I don't want to live" list do to humidity MUCH worse than here.

This is why I get confused when people say the humidity is bad here. Obviously living there is different than people that haven't, which is why I write it off to opinions. I put in 11 months in Orlando. Total hell, mostly due to the humidity. Even with the house AC on full tilt I'd take a freezing cold shower, towel off, and I'd be soaking wet from sweat before I even put the towel down. Give me a DFW "dry heat" 100° over Orlando's 98° with 234% humidity any day of the week.

Bad drivers (tourists and old people are huge safety hazards) was just icing on the crap-cake that is Orlando.

Oddly enough, the Keys were never too bad for me humidity-wise. I guess because I was always there to dive I never really noticed? Never got to me down there.

[Jiggerachi]

We took a 7 day trip to Playa del Carmen, Mexico a couple years back in August. Total new kind of HOT to me. I remember getting off the plane in DFW after the trip and thinking hmmm, this is nice, Dallas must have had a cold front come through to cool it down...then I saw it was 105.

1am in Mexico you would ruin a new shirt with sweat in 10 minutes. I then appreciated the lack of humidity in North Texas.

I know Texas get's pretty bad with the humidity when you head south towards the coast...but I've heard Florida is the worst.

[onething]

Ever been to Lufkin in August? Hot, humid and no breeze...

[Dudley Dawson]

I was born in Tampa, but my family moved to Southern California when I was barely a year old, and I'm pretty sure Thousand Oaks is where my body calibrated its comfort settings. Then we moved to Houston when I was six, and Dallas when I was 10. At 28 I moved to Austin for a few years.

To me, the humidity in North Texas is awful. It was a little worse in Austin, and completely intolerable in Houston. Then I visited Florida for the first time since my infancy back in Sept. 2003. I will say right now that there is absolutely no way I'd ever consider living in Florida. It may not be the worst place in the world, but it's about the worst place I've ever been. Anytime I find myself hating Texas more than usual, a reminder of Florida is enough to calm me down a little.

I'm still a Californian at heart, though. This place is way too humid for me. To make matters worse, it's always more humid here when it's less hot, so either way I'm going to be sweating and cursing. Ten years ago I went on a road trip to Las Vegas. It was 104 when we left Dallas, and 104 when we got to Vegas, but 104 in Vegas felt like 85 does here.