Jotd

[onething]

My ex-wife started taking flying lessons about the time our divorce started and she got her license shortly before our divorce was final, later that same year.

Yesterday afternoon, she narrowly escaped injury in the aircraft she was piloting when she was forced to make an emergency landing in Southern Tennessee because of bad weather. Thank God our kids were with me at the Beach House this weekend.

The NTSB issued a preliminary report, citing pilot error: Jane was flying a single engine aircraft in IFR (instrument flight rating) conditions while only having obtained a VFR (visual flight rating) rating.

The absence of a post-crash fire was likely due to insufficient fuel on board. No one on the ground was injured.

Photographs below were taken at the scene show the extent of damage to her aircraft.







































She was very lucky.

[sammm]

"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have been
> with a loose woman."
> >>
> >>The priest asks, "Is that you, little Salvatore?"
> >>
> >>"Yes, Father, it is."
> >>
> >>"And who was the woman you were with?" *"I can't
> tell you, Father. I
> >>don't want to ruin her reputation."
> >>
> >>"Well, Salvatore, I'm sure to find out her name
> sooner or later, so you
> >>may as well tell me now.
> >>
> >>Was it Tina Minetti?"
> >>
> >>"I cannot say."
> >>
> >>"Was it Teresa Volpe?"
> >>
> >>"I'll never tell."
> >>
> >>"Was it Nina Capelli?"
> >>
> >>"I'm sorry, but I cannot name her."
> >>
> >>"Was it Cathy Piriano?"
> >>
> >>"My lips are sealed."
> >>
> >>"Was it Rosa Di Angelo, then?"
> >>
> >>"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
> >>
> >>The priest sighs in frustration. "You're very
> tight lipped, Salvatore,
> >>and I admire that. But you've sinned and have to
> atone. You cannot be an
> >>altar boy now for 4 months. Now you go and behave
> yourself."
> >>
> >>Salvatore walks back to his pew, and his friend
> Nino slides over and
> >>whispers, "What'd you get?"
> >>
> >>"Four months vacation and five good leads."

[MadMerv]

...and I thought you were serious!!!!!!!

[Treibenschnell]

...and I thought you were serious!!!!!!!

You're thinking about the leads, right?

[MadMonkey]

What did the fish say when he ran into the wall?


















DAM!!!

[cone-cerned]

A photographer wanted to take some aerial shots of the countryside and so he chartered a flight with the local airport. On arrival, he was directed to the runway and told that the plane was waiting for him. Seeing a light aircraft with its engine running, he climbed in and told the pilot: “Let’s go.”

Shortly after takeoff the photographer said: “Now, if you can come in low over that lake, I’ll be able to take some nice pictures.”

“Why do you want to do that?” asked the pilot.

“It’s my job. I’m a photographer.”

“Oh,” said the pilot, ashen-faced. “So you’re not the flight instructor?”

[onething]

One Sunday last spring, while counting the money in the weekly offering, the
pastor of a small, rural, EAST Texas Baptist Church (TYLER TEXAS) found a
plain pink envelope containing $1000. It happened again the next week. The following Sunday, he watched as the offering was collected and saw a little old lady put the distinctive pink envelope in the plate. He did not recognize her and failed to see her as the congregation departed following the sermon and closing anthem. One week she would be there, then for two or three weeks she was absent. No one seemed to know who she was. This went on until late fall until the pastor, noticing her pink envelope and overcome by curiosity, approached her.

"Ma'am, I couldn't help but notice that you put $1,000 every Sunday you are
here in the collection plate," he stated.

"Why yes," she replied, "every week my son sends me money, and I give some
of it to the church."

The pastor replied, "That's wonderful, how much does he send you?"

The old lady said, "Oh, about $10,000 a week."

The pastor was amazed. "Your son is very successful; what does he do for a
living?"

"He is a veterinarian," she answered.

"That is an honorable profession," the pastor said. "Where does he practice?"

The little old lady said proudly, "In Nevada. He has two cat houses in Las Vegas and one in Reno."